we all want to wear what we are told we aren't supposed to.

top on mannequin // top in collage // jeans // necklace // belt // shoes

Last weekend I went up to Cleveland with my mom and my sister, and we stopped at the mall just to look around (and buy lipstick). We walked around Madewell, mostly admiring their totes (mine is now five years old and has seen much better days). As we were walking out of the store, I saw the outfit on top, and immediately stopped to snap a picture of it because I loved  the look - high waisted skinny jeans, a loose half tucked top, an open neckline. It was just so cool.

I uploaded the picture to instastories to share, and said I wish I could pull of the look. In my mind, that look only looks good on the thinner, straighter body typed girls. A bunch of fellow hourglass women shared my sentiment...and one said, why the hell can't you?

That's right, why can't I? Of course I can. But I've been spending years finding "the most flattering" way of dressing, and not just trying to make looks and trends work on my body. High waisted skinny jeans that showcase my size 10-12 hips, and a shirt that doesn't cover them has never really been something I've considered. I feel like about once a year I come to the conclusion that I should "stop playing by the rules" and just wear the outfits I think are cute without being so so SO concerned that it's not THE MOST FLATTERING ever. I don't really actively discuss how every outfit I show on here is about "finding clothes that flatter your body" because sometimes I fail (hard), but I do try to find clothes that look good on me and that I actually want to wear. That's why I order so many clothes and review them - because for every one piece of clothing I keep, I try on at least five that didn't work at all on me. But then you start figuring out what looks good on you, and you keep just buying variations of that same thing. Over. And over. And over again.

Maybe sometimes being in a clothing rut is because we don't feel comfortable trying new things, so you keep wearing the old ones, and then the rut continues. And continues. And continues. Until you have five years worth of pictures that document the same kind of style, just in different patterns and colors. I look through my closet, full of clothes that fit me and am just so bored. I see outfits like the one above and just wish I felt comfortable enough with my body and bold enough to just put it on and not care that maybe there are pant styles that are more flattering or that a top that goes in at the waist may be better for my frame. Maybe I just want someone to look at my outfit and think "wow, good for her for wearing something she loves, she really seems confident in that outfit" rather than "that girl sure found a way to minimize her larger bust and show off her waist without showing off her love handles". Doesn't that statement make me sound like a crazy person? Because I bet you that not a single one of you thinks that...but that's what I think every day when I get dressed.

So... I bought the damn jeans and the shirt. Because I loved the look and it's been a long time since I saw a whole outfit and just wanted it immediately. Maybe I'll try it on and go dammmmnnn I look good, won't this be fun to wear on a date sometime or to dinner with a girlfriend or just for an afternoon walking around Home Depot.

Or maybe they just really won't suit me and I'll try something else.

But I'll never know until I actually try.

my closet staples

It's been a good three years since I started working on building a cohesive wardrobe, and while I don't think there is ever a final perfect closet, I am very happy with where I'm at currently. The following are the items that I grab for the most, the items you may see on here the most (although many are worn in real life more than you see on here), and items that I have found to be the most versatile.

While I don't think I would ever do a capsule collection (it just doesn't make a lot of sense for my current life), these are the 32 items I would pick if someone made me choose! I was going to tell you guys about them all individually but I found myself writing "this is my favorite XX" or "I wear this all the time!" so...I stopped that. So...these are my favorites and I wear them all the time. Any questions? Ask away in the comments!

tops

Boden breton top [seen here] 

Everlane cashmere sweater [seen here] 

J.Crew Factory blouse [seen here]

J.Crew chambray [seen here]

Everlane tees [seen here]

BB Dakota cardigan [seen here]

bottoms

J.Crew Factory skirt [seen here]

Paige black jeans [seen here]

Madewell skinny jeans [seen here]

Express ponte pants [seen here]

The Limited Ankle Pants [seen here]

toppers

H&M blazer [seen here]

Paige jean jacket [seen here]

Olive jacket (I actually have 2 different ones)

shoes

Hunter boots [seen here]

Cognac Vince Camuto boots [seen here]

Black Vince Camuto boots [seen here]

Madewell leopard flats [seen here]

Ferragamo red flats [seen here]

J.Crew Factory wedges [seen here - I also have them in black]
Tory Burch flats [seen here]

Converse [seen here]

Jack Rogers sandals [seen here]

accessories
Nordstrom tan scarf [seen here]
Daniel Wellington watch [50% off! seen here]
J.Crew Factory necklace [seen here]
Coach purse [seen here]
Ann Taylor scarf
Michael Kors watch [seen here]

Madewell tote [seen here]

lounging favorites
LL bean sweater [seen here]
Zella leggings 
J.Crew Factory socks

wishlist items
red crossbody, like the chloe marcie bag
distressed black jeans, like these from paige
classic pearl earrings

building a cohesive wardrobe: the closet clean out

In my early twenties, I loved nothing more than to go shopping (okay, now that I'm in my late twenties, not much has changed). The problem was that I didn't have a lot of money, and I didn't have a plan. If I found something I liked at Forever 21 or H&M, I would buy it. Then I would wear it one time, realize that I hated it on me, and stuck it in the back of my closet. This was also the time that blogs started to become popular, so I kind of was running after the trends I saw on them - think colored jeans, arm parties, and lots of layering.

I never felt secure in these clothes, and I always felt like I had nothing to wear. When I was accepted to medical school, it hit me that in 4 months time, I was going to move 600 miles away, in just my little car. I was not going to drag all those clothes with me to my new home/life. So I started the long closet clean out, and the eventual building up of my closet.

In this multi-post topic of building a cohesive wardrobe, the first, and most important step, is doing a closet clean out. It's also the hardest. It's difficult to get rid of things you've paid money for - it feels like throwing money away. But I promise, once you only have clothes in your closet that you actually like to wear, you will never ever miss those old items again.

So. The following were (and still are!) my guidelines when I clean out my closet. I just did another round of this over the last few weeks while moving, and it really did help narrow down what to keep and what to get rid of. Here is my process:

knowing when to let go

No, this post will not be about knowing when to let go of a boyfriend, although trust, I could write a whole book about that topic ;) Instead, it's going to be about letting go of a piece of clothing. Not nearly as scandalous to write about it but maybe a bit more applicable to this here style blog.

So I bought this striped skirt two years. It was soon after I found out I got into school, and I was really excited to get out of my lab clothes and into more "fun" clothes (jokes on me now, I miss those jean days!). I found this skirt on a sales rack at Banana Republic, and bought it in preparation for school. Well, school came, and I found myself never reaching for this skirt. I never really thought about why, until I was doing a bit of closet rearranging the other day and tried to make an outfit around it. The biggest issue for me is that it's actually a navy + cream combo, and that means it restricts what I can wear with it. I would much prefer it to be black and white, because it means I could mix and match it with so many more of the tops in my closet. It is also too large on me. But I still like it enough, so I paired it with my favorite chambray top and cognac wedges, and went on with my day. Turns out, chambray goes with just about everything.

So I have this skirt that in theory I should like (hello, stripes) but in reality I don't. The thing is, I would like to own a striped pencil skirt because I could see it being pretty versatile, but I would never go and buy a new one because I already own one, although it's one I don't really wear because it's not what I want. So the issue is - do I keep a skirt that is fine, there's nothing really wrong with it, or do I get rid of it and move on?

I've had a lot of people ask me how to do a closet clean up. Between the time I found out I got into school and before I moved two years ago, I got rid of a lot of clothes in my closet. It was right around the time that I was getting better about figuring out what worked on my body, what I wanted in my closet, and what I didn't, and so I got rid of the clothes I had accumulated over the seven years I lived in Madison. Over the past two years, I have really honed in on my style, and realized that works for my dress code and what doesn't. I've held on to quite a few pieces over the last two years that I bought before I started school because I thought they would work in my current lifestyle, but I realize now that I never ever reach for them. With another move coming up, I've been slowly working my way back through my closet. There's definitely certain items that are easier to let go - ones I haven't touched since moving, or ones that just aren't as nice as they once were. I've either passed them on to friends/family members, sent them in to ThredUp, or donated them. 

The harder pieces are ones that you just don't wear as often although there is nothing really wrong with them. I have a really hard time letting go of those pieces. I paid good money for them, I should make it work somehow! But because I have clothes I like a lot more, I wear those instead, and occasional try to make something work that I'm just not as excited about. So when a closet clean up comes around, and I come across something that I haven't worn in a while, I try to make it work. I tried this skirt with three or four shirts before I found one where the colors worked together, and a belt that kept the skirt from falling off. While I like this particular outfit, I don't think that getting dressed should be such a hassle. I've spent years trying to build a closet with clothes I'm excited to wear, so holding on to something because I paid $20 for it two years ago is not a good enough reason to have it take up a hanger. 

So to wrap up this novella about a striped skirt....I'm selling the skirt. I know that once it is gone, I won't even miss it. And then some day, when I come across a striped skirt that is in the colors that I want, in a size that fits me, I won't feel guilty about buying it. Or I'll never find one I like, and that's okay too. 

What tips do you have for getting rid of those pieces that are fine, but not great? Do you hold on to them in hopes you fall back in love, or get rid of it and move on? 

Chambray: J.Crew [exact]

Skirt: Banana Republic

Belt: Gap [very similar]

Shoes: Frye [exact, some sizes on sale]

Watch: Michael Kors [exact currently 25% off]

ask me anything: fashion + style

This is the last installment of this round of Ask Me Anything. You can find previous answers to various other questions (med school, budgets, boyfriends) here. Have any questions you'd like to ask but hasn't been answered? Let me know in the comments!

If you could only shop at one store what would it be?

too many damn rules

I spent this past weekend in NYC with my good college friend Ben. We had a great time catching up on our lives (both of ours have changed considerably in the past year since we saw each other), walking all over Brooklyn, and doing just the tiniest bit of shopping. We stopped at Steven Alan, which has all of these beautiful pieces of clothing - the kind that you would wear for the next ten years and really treasure and love. As I was looking through them, I was explaining to Ben how I really liked each piece but I just couldn't wear any of them and I don't even bother trying because "I know what works on my body and it's just easier to stick to those rules".

Oh boy. The rules. It's not until you try to explain to someone what exactly these rules entail that you realize that maybe, just maybe, you are slightly insane. What exactly are my rules? Let's just work top to bottom:

• No hats. I have chubby cheeks and hats always emphasize that.
• V-necks only (mostly). I'm fairly busty, so adding a bit of skin (but not too much!!! more rules) supposedly elongates my frame without it just being all 'woah, boobs' even if they are completely covered up. I also have broad shoulders, so boat necks make them look even broader, and I don't think I've touched anything high crew necked in years. 
• Nothing strapless. I'm certain strapless bras are the devil. I just won't even put up with them, so I just don't buy anything strapless. Problem solved, rule created.
• No cap sleeves. I dislike my upper arms, and cap sleeves cut you off right at the thickest part of your arm. Why emphasize those bingo arms when a full short sleeve is so much more flattering?
• Also nothing sleeveless. It's hard to find dresses with sleeves so I will buy those sleeveless dresses (if I really like them like this one I found last week that has an all over "neutral" pattern) knowing that the majority of the time I'll wear a blazer or cardigan over it. I would love to own this beautifully designed colorful dress, but I know I wouldn't want to cover it up with another boring cardigan so I just don't bother. There are only 3 sleeveless tops in my closet, and I always wear them layered. There's a reason summer is my least favorite season.
• Nothing too drapey/swingey/loose. I suppose I'm hour-glass shaped, so anything that doesn't come in at my waist makes me look a good 30 pounds heavier. You know all those cool people who wear loose slightly slouchy tops and skinny jeans and look amazing and casual yet still polished and put together? That won't be me. I'll be there in my heavy duty bra and tank top to suck it all in and tight but not too tight shirt to make sure you didn't think I was actually a walking square. I don't just throw on a shirt and walk out the door. There's a process involved in harnessing it all. 
• Longer tops only please. I'm 5'9'' and pretty equal parts legs and torso, so most tops are too short on me (the saving grace being pencil skirts and tucking everything in!)
• No midriff. Not now, not ever.
• Aways belted. Either at my waist if I'm wearing a dress so that I don't look like a giant rectangle, or on my pants so I can shame-tuck the hell out of my shirts (to emphasis earlier said waist). Oh yeah, and the leather needs to match my shoes...because I have issues apparently.
• Dark on bottom: Dark denim, dark skirts, dark shorts. I occasionally break that rule with white denim, but I generally try to keep emphasis off of my hips. That weird area that sticks out the furthest needs to be as camouflaged as much as possibly please. 
• Nothing too short. I'm a lady now (you get that title when you turn 26) and so therefore we don't do 2 inch inseam anything. Okay, really it's just that my thighs rub and therefore I need the fabric to prevent that. I would love to wear a cute romper, but it would look ridiculous on me. 
• No skirts that don't hit right above the knee. That's probably a pretty common rule, but with midi skirts/dresses being popular, I have to remind myself that they hit at the widest part of my muscular calves, which is "unflattering". Hate that word yet? Me too. 
• #hussyankles: If you've been reading this blog for 6+ months, you will have noticed that my ankles are almost always showing, even in the winter. I just like ankle pants! I think they are the most flattering on my legs, and I don't like my shoes to touch my pants. I don't even have a valid reason for that weird rule.
• Feeling overdressed. I have this fear of feeling overdressed. It's hard to articulate really what I mean, but a lot of it is situational. I live in a small city where I spend the majority of my time in study clothes or in business casual clothing while at school. Nothing calls for anything too fancy or layered or stacked - it's about being practical and appropriate. So then sometimes when I could be a bit more "pulled together" I feel that I'm faking it. And so then I just default to plain. Why stand out when you can blend in?
• Being too trendy. This may be a result of having a blog and reading a lot of blogs. I see the trends come and go, and generally don't really participate. Sneaker wedges, high-low hemlines, overalls - nope, no thank you, not since I was 4. Not practical for my life, and not something that I would feel comfortable in. I of course love some of them - statement necklaces always work, and I'm so tempted to get these Birks (because they just look so damn comfortable, and I'm German so it's allowed), but in general I don't want you to look at a picture of me in a year and be able to pinpoint what month it was taken in based on what is trendy that moment. 

Are you exhausted? Because I am.

On the one hand, it's very helpful to know what looks good on my body and what doesn't. I don't waste time trying on crop tops because I will never ever spend my money on one. Shopping time and shipping costs are kept to a minimum because I only try on things that fit within these rules. I only buy something if I know it looks good on me, is something I can wear multiple ways, and fits my general aesthetic and closet. I buy for my current lifestyle but also try to keep in mind that starting next year I'll be working with patients on a daily basis. I have a closet of clothes that I actually wear, time and time again, and that generally can be mix and matched.

But on the other hand, I'm certain I just wrote a pretty good case for body dysmorphia.

Showing ankles is the most flattering? Mmmmmmkay.

Knowing what works and what doesn't is good, but it's so constricting. I just feel that all of these "flattering" items I own and continue to buy also make it all a bit boring. There's no excitement, no new things I'm trying and making work for me and my shape. Having rigid rules limits me from trying so many fun things happening in fashion. While I do think that sometimes being my size and shape limits me in the sense that I can't just make every item work on me, I really need to just take a step back and just...have fun with it. It's not going to kill me if I own one cute graphic tee - I'm sure I'll wear it enough to make it worth the purchase, and if it adds a bit of something special to my closet, even just for a year, why the hell not? I will be the first person to endorse making responsible shopping decisions, but something has got to give.

I tried to step outside my rules a tiny bit when I purchased this tee this weekend - it still follows some of the "rules" (v-neck, longer short sleeves) but is different from what I own - it's looser, more casual...even the tiniest bit slouchy. Maybe that's how you start to break out - breaking one rule at a time. No need to jump in head-first, just get a toe wet.

Please tell me I'm not alone here. Do you have any rules you are refusing to break? How do you stay true to yourself but still branch out? Have you previously said you wouldn't ever wear something but now it's a staple in your closet?

closet inventory

When I was preparing to move last year, I spent a lot of time going through my closet and getting rid of a ton of it. I hadn't moved more than three miles in any direction in seven years, so I used the 600 mile move across the country as a good time to really sort through everything I owned. I spent months sorting, donating, selling, and giving to friends, and I thought I did a pretty good job of only taking with me what I really wore and used.

I'll be moving again next year, and to prevent another massive clean out during the super stressful time of board studying and moving, I'm trying to be proactive about what I buy and keep in my closet (and surroundings). I've been trying to buy less since I don't really "need" anything, and I've been cleaning more out. There were some things I held on to that I thought I would wear more during the school year, but I just didn't wear them, so I've already donated a giant bag full of clothes after this recent clean out. I wish that I had taken a full inventory last March just to see how much has changed in the last 18 months!

I've been asked in the past how much clothing I actually own, and so being inspired by AJ's and Kimmie's closet inventory posts, I thought I would share a little of my own. Here are all the clothes I own:

So what does that come out to? Here are the numbers:

Tops: 94
Sleeveless: 8
Tees: 21
Long-sleeved shirts: 10
Blouses/Button-ups: 26
Cardigans: 12
Sweaters: 17

Outerwear: 15
Vests: 2
Blazers: 9
Coats: 4

Bottoms: 36
Jeans: 5
Casual Pants: 5
Dress Pants: 8
Shorts: 8
Skirts: 10

Dresses: 23

Shoes: 34
Flats: 17
Heels: 8
Sandals: 5
Boots: 4

This of course doesn't include work out clothes, pjs, or the large amount of college sweatshirts I own (all the red in the back right corner). I'm a little shocked I own 200 pieces of clothing. I would have guessed it was closer to 150. There are still some things I know I'll be getting rid of in the next year, so I'll probably do a one piece in, one piece out rule.

I know many people suggest using thin velvet hangers to make as much room as possible. I won these wooden hangers last year from Alterations Needed (read her review on the petite hangers here) and I think that they work a lot better for me. I like that it spaces my clothes out a bit more, and it leaves me with a finite amount of hanger space - it prevents me from holding out to clothes I no longer wear. I used to organize my closet completely by color - all white blouses, sweaters, and tees together, and so on. I found that organizing by type helps a lot more - they are still organized by color (because I'm a bit of a nutcase) but now within type. So if I want a tee shirt, they are all together. If I'm looking for a cardigan to wear on top of an outfit, I can see the 12 I have available all in one space.

I'm hoping to inventory once a year just to see where I'm at. Questions about anything? Let me know!