Sunday, July 30, 2017

be right back!

hey guys!

Intern year has been a whirlwind so far, in really great,  and also in hard ways. Because I am taking Step 3 (our third and final board exam before our ObGyn boards at the end of residency) in 2.5 weeks, I'm going to take a little break from blogging until then. I really need to focus on studying in the evenings, and as much as I'm excited to share things on here with you when it comes to clothes and makeup and hair products, I need to really buckle down for a few more weeks! When I come back, I'll be on my ultrasound month, and have a bit more time to spend with y'all :)

I'll talk to you soon!! xoxo

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

sticking with my healthyish goals in residency

DSC07507picture 2 Intern year is known for a lot of things - early mornings, late nights, pagers going off at all times, not knowing what you're doing...and occasionally eating and drinking away your feelings.

I've made a bit of an attempt to change my outlook on my own health over the past six months, and since starting residency,  I am doing a few little things that I'm hoping will have long term benefits for myself. I want to have the stamina to work those long hours and I want to be a good example for my patients. On the superficial side of things, I did order a wedding dress that I'm supposed to fit into next June, so if nothing else, that's been a really great motivation to stick with healthy habits.

We are just four weeks into all of this, so this is definitely not a "how to be healthy in residency" post. Rather, it's the small things I'm doing to stay on track with my goals. From packing my own food to finding an efficient work out, here are a few things I do daily to stick with my healthyish goals (even if I'm not currently documenting them weekly). 

meal prepping & bringing my own food //

I am very fortunate that I am a part of a program that has a meal stipend. While it wouldn't cover all of my food, I definitely could get a large portion of my meals at the cafeteria. Since I go to work around 4:45 AM, and leave at 6 PM at the earliest, that could be all three meals of the day, not including snacks! So from day one, I have packed my own lunch bag with breakfast, snacks, and lunch. If you follow along on instastories, you will have seen some of my Sunday meal prepping. I tend to make big meals to cut down on the food prepping, so I make things like egg bakes for breakfasts, chili, veggie casseroles, and vegetables with a protein for dinners. For snacks I have Baby Bells, Clif Bars for my white coat so I can eat between cases, hardboiled eggs, and fruit. By bringing my own food, I can control what I'm eating for the most part, and by having dinners ready when I get home, I am less likely to just throw in a pizza or stop by Wendy's for a junior bacon cheeseburger. This is definitely not foolproof - we all have lunch together on Wednesdays where we get delicious food (last week we had pizza), sometimes I just really want some cereal in the middle of the day, and I may have had to go get a JBC after work, but 95% of the time, I'm controlling what I eat. 

taking the stairs //

I know this seems like a little thing, but I make every effort to take the stairs. In the morning, I make a pit stop on the third floor to grab my sign out sheets, and then head up to the sixth floor to round on my patients. I take the stairs every morning - I think getting my heart beating just a bit faster so early in the morning wakes me up a bit, and since I'm now in the habit of doing it every morning, I'm not making an excuse to take the elevator. It's such a small habit to form, but think about how many flights of stairs that is over four years! 

doing efficient work outs //
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The city we live in doesn't have a spin studio, so I really miss my 2-3 times a week spin classes! But I also don't have as flexible of a schedule as I did before I started working, so I've recently signed up for an OrangeTheory membership. The classes are built to get your heart rate in "the orange zone" - it's a combination of rowing, weights, and running. I like it because I would never go do sprints on a treadmill by myself or do some of the weight exercises (I get very nervous about doing weights in gyms), so I love that I get a really efficient work out in an hours time. There will be months where I'll be able to go more (especially the closer we get to next June!) but for now, I got on the weekends I don't work. I've talked a lot about how cute work out clothes are definitely a motivating factor for me. I'm so excited to get to work with Finish Line again so share some of their amazing work out items. While I'm typically a black leggings type of girl, I couldn't resist these fun striped pants from Reebok. I promise that they aren't see through! They are just a fun way to mix it up, even when you play it safe like I did by just wearing them with a black work out top. Below are a few more of their new arrivals that would make great self-motivators ;)

drinking water more than anything else //
I know I've mentioned this before, but I've really strived over the years to decrease my consumption of coffee, soda, and juice, and really focus on drinking water. I have a big water bottle I bring to work now that I sip on while I'm writing my notes before sign out and between surgeries if I have time. I learned the hard way last year that if I don't drink enough water in a day, that bad things will happen, so I'm all about the prevention now! 

bringing my work out bag to work //
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Our hospital has a small gym attached to it for the residents to use, so my co-intern and I have been making it a routine of bringing our gym bags to work with us. On days where we get done on time (when our pagers switch over to the night float team), we are able to quickly change into our gym clothes and get a quick work out out in. We do the stair climber or run a few miles or do some weights - really just to get our bodies moving. I know that if I went home first, I would never leave my house to go back to a gym. There's just not enough time between 6:30 when I get home and 9:30 when I go to bed to take care of my pets, connect with CR, do the assigned readings for the next day, eat dinner, AND leave to go to the gym. So by doing it right immediately after work, it's done, and I only "lose" 30 minutes instead of an hour+.

To keep myself motivated to continue with the habits I'm in the process of establishing, here are a few more cute items from Finish Line! I'm all about those gold tennis shoes - how fun would those be to wear after work?! Love. 

Thank you to Finish Line and ShopStyle for sponsoring this post! 

Monday, July 17, 2017

my experience with microneedling

I feel that you guys have been a part of this skin journey for years now. Several years ago, I shared how the Paula's choice system really helped with my acne - that system was the beginning of getting my skin to where it is today. Then about two years ago, I added a tretionoin gel to the regime, which did a great job with helping with the hyperpigmentation scars, as well as with keeping my acne at bay.

Last November, I was seeing my dermatologist for my last tattoo laser removal session. It was right after CR and I got engaged, so I asked her if she had any suggestions for getting my skin to be as great as it could be before our wedding. We discussed lasers (like Fraxels) versus peels versus microneedling. In the end, she recommended microneedling for me as I'm still young, and my main concern at that point was the scarring left over from the acne, and some of the spots that were starting to pop up on my face.

You may have heard of microneedling, as it's one of the big up and coming cosmetic treatments in the dermatology world. Microneedling is the process of using tiny needles to cause microscopic injury to the skin, also called "collagen induction therapy". This stimulates your body to respond to this injury by increasing the production of collagen, which helps treat texture, color, and unevenness in the skin. There are two ways about getting this type of treatment. There's the kind that you can do at home - from what I've read, this is a nice way to get into microneedling, but the needles don't penetrate as deeply or as evenly, so you aren't going to see the same results as you would if you had it done professionally. Then there's the kind where you see someone in a dermatologist's office. At my derm's office, there is an RN who does all of her microneedling and peels. They use the Rejuvapen, which looks like... a pen with a bunch of tiny needles on it.

Okay, so before I get into the process of microneedling, here are some before pictures.
It's hard to really see the scarring in these pictures - I really tried to get better pictures, but depth is hard to capture in pictures. I had true pockmark scars, especially along my temple and the lateral sides of my cheekbones (probably because I get acne where I rest my face on my hands, a habit I can't seem to break - it's all that studying!). But you can see that some of the hyperpigmentation from the acne was still present, and I had a bunch of new discoloration showing up. Once I saw these pictures, I realized even though I don't really see much sunlight anymore, it really was time to wear sunscreen daily, so I'm proud to say I've been wearing this sunscreen daily for over six months now, and feel better every day knowing I'm taking better care of my skin, and preventing more of those age spots from showing up.

Okay, so about the actual process of microneedling! At my dermatologist's office, they started the process by taking before pictures, and then going to their back procedure room. There, the nurse applied topical lidocaine to my face to numb it. I basically then took a 15 minute nap while I waited for the cream to start working. 
mascara details: urban decay primer followed by bobbi brown's mascara
Then, the nurse used the Rejuven and started working at on my forehead down. Because of the lidocaine cream, I felt very little besides just the vibrating. I would say there really was very minimal pain involved, even when she went closer to the edges of my face, where there wasn't always lidocaine cream. You can see how she did it below: 

The only true painful part was the "stamping", which from how she explained it, is she "stamped" aka went deeper, on the scars that needed a bit more collagen induction. It was a split second of pain for each stamp, and nothing that should scare you away from the process, but I definitely want to warn you that that may be painful for a split second.

All in all, the process from start to finish takes about one hour.

After the whole face has been done, you are ready to go! Your face will be red and feel tight - kind of like if you got a bad sunburn. Here's what I looked like right after walking out of the office (you can even still see the lines the scrub cap left).
For the next 12 hours, my skin felt pretty tight. Nothing unbearable, but enough that I noticed it. By the next morning, there was just a bit of redness remaining, and within 24 hours, my skin color was back to normal. During the first few days, you are not supposed to sweat or go into the sun much.

Here is the downside to microneedling. It is not a quick fix like a facial would be. You do not walk out of the dermatologist's office with brand new skin. It takes about 4-6 weeks to really see a difference, and for optimal results, you have to have multiple sessions. So I have had three sessions, spaced between December and May. Each session at my dermatologist's office cost $200. As someone who has been unhappy with my skin for the last 15 years, that money was more than worth it to get rid of the evidence of the acne that my skin is slowly overcoming. I now only wear a primer and a BB cream daily, and some days only a bit of concealer under my eyes because I don't need to put a bunch of stuff on my face anymore. I plan on getting one more treatment next spring, about two months before our wedding.

Overall, I am extremely pleased with the results that microneedling gave me. If you have acne scarring or hyperpigmentation that just won't go away, talk to your dermatologist to see if microneedling may be a good option for you. I firmly believe that creams and lotions can only do so much, sometimes you have to get the professionals involved!

disclosure: I am obviously sharing this from the point of view of a patient, this is not medical advice! :)

Sunday, July 16, 2017

top three [07.16.2017]

it's almost sweater weather ;)  || one | two | three

spotted //
  • Since finally trying high waisted jeans, I can't get enough of them - I wear them every time I get to wear real clothes! The color of this pair from Hudson is beautiful - it's like a mix between blue and black denim, which means they are the perfect way to dress up denim. Love!
  • I know it's July, but winter is coming (GoT, you ready?!). I really want to try Blondo's waterproof booties - I love that they are still suede but waterproof. I don't know what magic does that, but I'm here for it. 
  • Zella's leggings are my absolute favorite. They are so comfortable, keep everything tucked in, and really last a long time (I've had my current pair for three years and they still look basically brand new). They have a really cute pair that is cropped with a few pieces of mesh that I have my eye on during the Nordstrom sale!

on the internet //

on franish //
  • on the blog: nothing this week! sorry guys - I'm hoping to get a bit better as I get used to this new life.
  • on the instagram: making the most out of those saturdays (jeans + top)
  • on the twitter: so so happy about this!

notable sales //

at home //
  • Hiiiii! Sorry about the radio silence this week. I had big plans to have a few posts ready for the week, and then reading and prepping for the week, and actually spending time with CR and the dogs took precedence. I know you guys don't notice when I don't post, but I don't want to just come on here once a week and link dump and walk away. 
  • Anyway, the week was really good! A few really long days, but honestly, as long as I'm able to eat a few meals while there, it is really fun to finally be doing the work - really, that's the biggest difference between being a med student and an intern. You still don't know much and are probably more of a hinderance than anything, but at least you can put in orders haha
  • Lots of fun things happened this weekend though! CR finally got a new car! It's been a slow three year down hill battle with the car - it didn't have heat for two winters, we wouldn't drive it on the highways or more than a half an hour away from home, and I have had to come jump or get his car towed probably at least a dozen times. So now with a regular paycheck, and real responsiblities to show up to work, he made the big step and got a car he loves. I'm so excited for him, and for me, since my poor little car now gets a break from being our main car (but in exciting news in that department, I was able to pay it off yesterday, a whole year ahead of schedule. She's all mine!!!). 

Sunday, July 9, 2017

top three [07.09.2017]

still getting used to the doctor title ;)   (details: notebook // badge reel // shoes // mug // book)

medicine //
  • The mean age for menopause is 51.4 years old, but smokers will, on average, go into menopause 1.74 years earlier. Another reason to not smoke!
  • Gubernaculum: a pair of embryonic structures that helps the testes/ovaries descend. Plus it's a fun word to say!
  • Anotia: when a baby is born without the external ear. 

spotted //
  • I love the blue + white pattern of this dress...and that you don't need a strapless bra to wear it (looking at you, off the shoulder dresses taking over the world). 
  • I've really taken a liking to the Minnie style of Tory Burch flats - they require zero break in, and therefore they are so much more comfortable too. I love that new floral pattern they have (I have the tortoise shell ones too - so fun!). 
  • Lush has become the darling of Nordstrom, but I do have to admit, they make some really great classic looking pieces, like their new wrap dress. I'll take the pink one, please!

on the internet //

ask me anything //
  • I just started third year rotations, and my legs and feet hurt so much from standing all day. Any recommendations?
    • Compression socks are going to make a WORLD of difference for you! I didn't really start wearing them until the end of third year, and wish I had started earlier! I wear these ones from Sockwell - I know have at least six pairs, and refuse to go to work (in scrubs) without them!! I also will prop up my legs after a long day to help with the drainage and circulation. Avoid salty foods and drink water when you can!
  • How did you not let the competitive atmosphere of medical school and the students get to you? Specially with students who want to go into the same field as you?
    • That's a great question, and one that's really hard to answer because parts of it are really an internal thing. I have always been more about helping out my friends/co-students, and actually wanting to be friends with those around me. In school, our grades were not based on a bell curve, so what you got on a test is what you got - I suppose that helped in wanting to help your friends succeed. I loved getting to know people on interviews, and actually now that I think of it, even though they were 'my competition", I never even saw them that way! I saw them as my future co-workers, not something that needs to be dragged down to make me look better. One of my close friends, and former roommate, also was going for ObGyn (and now is!), and we both just wanted the other to succeed, and bonded over our experiences. It's just more fun to support those around you rather than dragging them down - that's fun for no one. 
  • Knowing how things have worked out with the residency of your dreams and the good stuff in your personal life, do you have anything you wish you could say to reassure yourself in the stressful lead-up to residency applications/interviews?
    • Oh man, of course I wish I could go back to my 22 year old self and tell her that things will work out. I think because you guys obviously weren't with me every day during the hard times, it's easy to think now "oh she has the job she wanted and a great man to marry" but it was definitely not always like that. I struggled to get into medical school, struggled at times in medical school, and spent the greater part of a decade dating the wrong person for me. So I suppose it would have been really reassuring to tell myself that yes, it will work out ("the way it's supposed to" like they say!), but having those experiences also shaped me to be who I am - grateful for the life and opportunities I've been given and have worked for. 

notable sales //

on franish //

at home //
  • What a week, you guys! While we are technically still going through orientation right now (one more week!), we have been going in before orientation starts to learn how to round on our patients, write notes, and put in orders. I got to help with an endometrial ablation (which is a very small procedure but it was nice to be a part of it nonetheless), and did a colposcopy. Our upperlevels could not be more kind and gracious to us interns as we learn the way of the land. Every day I'm so thankful to be where I am, even though I'm feeling extremely overwhelmed about what the future will be like.
  • CR had to work all weekend, so I used it as a time to get my life in order. Furniture was built (we got this for our kitchen for the coffee station - we just have to sand and stain the wood top to make it match our wood floors!), the house was cleaned, I organized my study materials, and today I'm spending much of the day cooking meals for the week and reading all the things. 
  • Speaking of meal prepping, do you guys have any recommendations for bakes or casseroles? Today I'm making a sweet potato egg bake, buffalo chicken spagetti squash casserole, and CR is making chili - we should be pretty set for the week haha....but I'd love to try something new!

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

recent reviews: you never know until you try

I basically didn't order or try on a piece of clothing until the last few days of June, which is why there wasn't a budget post this past month. I've found a few great pieces though lately (and some not so great), so here are a few things I've tried lately that I thought you'd like to hear about! central shirt in erinn stripe; 9" high-rise skinny jeans in polly wash
Alright, first up is the outfit that I've basically been talking about for weeks now! These high waisted Madewell jeans feel amazing on. The material is apparently the stretchiest they've ever made, and I would agree that these have quite a bit more stretch to them than my other pair of Madewell jeans I have - but that's what makes them so comfortable. They are also thicker than some jeggings I have, so they are a bit more flattering than typically stretchy jeans are. As far as sizing goes, I'm wearing a 31 tall here (I'm 5'9'', for the record) and they are the perfect length on me. I don't know guys, I just think these are so flattering, which is unexpected. It also helps that they are currently on sale, which is not always the case with Madewell denim. 

I also wanted to quickly talk about the shirt I'm wearing - the central shirt is a style of shirt that Madewell makes several variations of, so I'm glad I finally tried it! This clearly is not a style I would have tried previously - looser around the waist, extra fabric around the shoulders, and on the boxier end of tops. But it's also a thinner fabric that drapes nicely and is great to wear to grill outs (which is where I wore this the first time) because you can eat as many hot dogs as you want without being concerned about being uncomfortable in a tight shirt. Do I think I will own a whole closet full of central shirts? Unlikely. But for cooler summer days to run around town in and go out with a girlfriend? Absolutely, it's a great looser summer shirt for those of us who want a bit more coverage.
 Denim roll shorts
Next up - these shorts from Gap. I, like I know a lot of you, have a hard time finding denim shorts. If they fit in the legs, they are too loose in the waist. If the waist fits, chances are you'll have a diaper butt. I have a pair of shorts from Rag & Bone that I love when I put them on right out of the dryer, but within two hours, they are falling off my waist and I feel like I'm wearing a denim diaper. Not cute. These gap shorts though are made of a 99% cotton, 1% spandex material, so they feel really great on and don't immediately stretch out and fall off your backside. I went with my pretty typical jean size, a  31, and I feel they fit true to size. I love the slight distressing on them (very similar to the Rag & Bone shorts...but for like 1/ 10 of the price). If you're struggling to find a comfy pair of denim shorts, definitely give these Gap ones a try. I got them on sale for around $30, so I'm sure with the many Gap sales, you can get them for a similar price.

 Cheetah Leaf Shift Dress
Okay, next up is Ann Taylor's cheetah leaf dress. I fell in love with this dress when I saw it online, so I ordered it in a tall 10 and tall 12. I'm wearing the 10 above, as the 12 was too big on me. First of all, I love the pattern on this dress - I think it's so fun and unique. The black and white makes it super versatile. I found that the tall sizing was too tall on me though for what this dress would be - a fun summer dress for the weekends. With the covered neckline and sleeves (full short sleeves! nice job, AT), also having it go down to right the middle of the knees made it look a bit matronly on me. I also don't feel super comfortable with just straight shift dresses. I feel I constantly have to suck in, and that's not fun when you're just trying to wear what should be a comfortable dress. So while this dress is super cute and fun, it just wasn't the right one for me...which is still hard to admit, because I just really love the pattern on it.
The other item from Ann Taylor is one that we had a ton of discussion about on instastories. As you can see, I loved the shirt online so much that I ordered it in both white and black (both in a size large). I am so torn about this shirt (at least the black version - I didn't love the white version on me). On the one hand, full short sleeves, a flattering neckline, and a forgiving shape make it a great summer work shirt. On the negative side, and really the ONLY thing that bothers me, is that the sleeves are a bit puffier than normal, which creates really square looking shoulders (I called them the shoulder pads of our generation because I feel like half the blouses made have these little puffs). I kept trying the shirt on with different clothes to see if I could see past that but it's all I saw...but so many of you said that it actually creates a really flattering silhouette. So I've tucked the shirt away and am going to retry it in a few days again, just to see if I'm just being a crazy person and that the minor minor sleeve issue isn't actually an issue at all.
Pom Pom Lace Top
 Next up is this adorable pom pom top from Banana Republic. I didn't think I'd love this much as I do - it looked like a shirt that could run pretty boxy, so I didn't really have my hopes up. It's actually not nearly as boxy as I thought it would be! I'm wearing a size large here. I love the longer sleeves (that are a bit looser, as you can see above), the simple pattern, the higher neckline, and the fun pom pom detail. With a good discount, this shirt is totally worth it (I wouldn't really pay full price for it, even though it's one of the more inexpensive tops currently for sale at BR).
 Perfect shirt in cross-dyed Irish linen
I've been trying to get the right size of this linen shirt from J.Crew for like three months now. Back in like April, I ordered it in a size 10 tall. It didn't ship to me until the end of May, when I realize that it wasn't the right size for me - it was too tight at the hips, and too long in the arms. So during a recent sale, I re-ordered it in a size 12, which fits so much better. I think of this shirt kind of like the dressier version of a chambray shirt. It's soft, comfortable, and goes well with black pants, but is just slightly more professional. It's currently 30% off too if you are interested (it also comes in a few other colors if this pretty blue isn't something your closet needs). 

 Garment-dyed utility popover
The last item for today is J.Crew's utility popover. I was tempted by this top because it reminded me of a dress from J.Crew Factory that I have. Unfortunately, this top wasn't a hit for me. I found the fabric incredibly stiff, the shirt too large on me (even though I sized down to a 10 as recommended in the reviews), and no matter how I tucked it in, just wasn't working on me. It would have been a great top to wear with blue or white jeans, but the fit just wasn't doing it for me (goes to show that with these boxier types of shirts, it's all about how the fabric drapes!).

And that's it for me! We're pretty busy over here at the moment, as I start my rounding on patients now although we have orientation activities all day. Wish me luck - hopefully I won't stumble over saying my own title too many times (it's so awkward right now to call myself Dr!).

Sunday, July 2, 2017

top three [07.02.2017]

this week we: painted our fireplace // got a white coat // got new shelves!

spotted // 

  • So I finally tried on these high waisted jeans and you guys were so right. They are so flattering and fun to wear...and best part is that they are majorly on sale right now! Lets be twins :) 
  • How absolutely gorgeous is this crochet overlay dress from Eliza J (I promise it's so much cuter than that makes it seem). If I had a wedding to go to this summer, I'd absolutely wear that!
  • So I know this may be a bit controversial...but I could almost see myself wearing these overalls! I don't know, is that crazy? 

on the internet // 

throwback // 

ask me anything //  
  • Any suggestions on how to prepare and do well on fourth year ObGyn rotations?
    • Yes! I loved my sub-Is during fourth year because I felt like I actually got to do something, more than you did during third year (and I got to do a lot during my third year rotations!). When you first start working with the resident, make sure you let them know that you are very interested in their program, and ask them what is typically expected of fourth years. Offer to come in to pre-round (which I did, even though it meant I got to the hospital at 3:45 AM), see triage patients, and help write up "the list". Try to get to know the residents and have them get to know you. This is a time for you to get to know the program just as much as it for them to see you. Know how to hand tie, how to help getting the patient ready in the OR (help move the patient, have your gloves and gown ready, grab warm blankets, write your name on the board), and obviously know the basics of managing labor. Good luck - it's a really fun time (writing that all out makes me even more excited to finally start all of this!). 
  • I am a first year medical student and I am getting married in September. I was wondering if you have thought about kids. I know your situation is a little different since you are getting married in residency, but since you have gone through medical school - I was wondering if you had some insight on a good time to have kids. End of medical school? In residency? Or waiting till after? I really don't want to wait that long since I'll be well into my 30s when I complete residency.
    • You're right, I was in a different place than you are currently! But I completely understand trying to plan out when to have babies, something we discuss all the time now that we're in residency. Looking back, of course there are no perfect times to have a baby, but I would say there are two time that are really a bit better. Having a baby towards the end of first year would be a good time -  you're already used to the pace of medical school by the time you would be heavily pregnant, and then you have all summer to stay at home (really, your only summer off)! The other really great time would be to have the baby during the spring of fourth year - auditions and interviews are over, the Match will happen soon/has already happened, and you will have a lot more freedom and time off before residency starts in July. Of course, people make it work during all parts of school - I know women who had babies during second year and during third year. But looking back, if I had to choose, those two times would have been the most practical. 
  • I'm looking for a pair of sandals for the summer. I want something with a bit more support - any suggestions?

on franish //

notable sales //

at home //
  • This week has been a bit of relaxing and rushing around to get everything in order! CR started orientation, so we had several events for that (including a spouse orientation, white coat ceremony, and intern picnic!), as well as me trying to get stuff settled in the house. My mom was also here for a few days, so we had fun exploring the area. Even though we are still missing our downstairs furniture, it's starting to feel a lot more like home!
  • If you follow along on instastories, you know I just tried on a bunch of clothes (all my orders arrived on the same day!). I didn't actually buying anything prior to that in June, which is why there's no budget post, but I will have a review post up this week as well as a budget post in July (no worries, it's not going anywhere!). As a preview, I'm definitely keeping this jean + top from Madewell combo, as well as this linen top that'll be perfect for work. Still debating if that black top from Ann Taylor is staying or going!
  • Well, it's my last weekend before residency starts! Granted, we have orientation all week (and Tuesday off) so it isn't really "real" yet until the following week, but here we go! I have a lot of feelings about what is about to start, but haven't been able to really work through them yet. I'm nervous, excited, scared, honored, fearful, and hopeful. It's a confusing time, apparently!