Wednesday, September 2, 2015

baby fever

I'm in the middle of my second week in OB, and it has been my favorite favorite favorite rotation so far. I always thought I would go into OB - I'm very interested in women's health, I love babies, and I've always surrounded myself with amazing women in both my personal and professional life, so OB seems like a perfect fit for me. Yesterday I got to deliver my first baby - from the first push to the clamping of the cord (with doctor assistance during the most important parts, of course). It was an absolutely amazing experience. 

I've found myself getting emotional while being present for the births of these babies. I've never watched/participated in medical procedures before where I saw myself as the patient. I've never had to have bowel surgery, and I've never had to have someone explore my sinuses, nor have I wanted to. But I do want to have babies of my own, so while these women are giving birth, I often think about my own future birth experience, or if I will ever even get to have that. It may sound strange, but I've always thought I will have a really hard time getting pregnant. I'm scared that by the time it's the "right" time (if there's such a thing) to start trying to have a baby, it won't work. So I see these amazing women having these adorable babies, and having it be something I know I'll so desperately want eventually, I get a bit emotional. Not that I'm crying while these ladies are in labor! I just think about it a bit more now that I am around it 8-16 hours a day. 

Maybe that's normal - other med students talk about getting "baby fever" all the time while on their OB rotation, and I think that's to be expected. Many of us in medicine put off things that others are doing at our age. None of my friends are married. Most definitely none of us have babies. I know all of my girlfriends struggle with that sometimes, and maybe it's not pointed out to us as much as it is when we are helping to birth someone else's baby. 

But I have a feeling that this month, and my second month of OB in the spring, will be my absolute favorite months of the year, baby fever aside ;)
Blouse: Loft [similar]
Pants: The Limited [exact]
Shoes: Ferragamo c/o Shopbop [same styles]
Belt: The Limited [similar]
Watch: Michael Kors [save | exact]